sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
