you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I need to align my fucking chakras
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
