in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
