something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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