Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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