You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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