Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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