i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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