I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
