i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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