I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Couch. On fire.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
