hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
If that was your dad, he is hot
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
