I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
