she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
