I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
