I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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