You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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