just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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