he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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