Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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