This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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