Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And my parents said I crawled through the house
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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