I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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