Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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