Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Small penises have feelings too.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
