Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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