i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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