Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
