windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
