we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
