so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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