I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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