Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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