Are you still at the party or did I leave?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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