Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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