Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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