It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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