Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
