dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
