is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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