that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
