I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
