ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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