giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
