You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
