if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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