if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
