It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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