We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
