i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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