so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
