i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
