Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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