What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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