it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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