hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
false alarm, still single
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
