He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
