Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry lucyinthesky hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(519): View more from Ontario

It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.

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(706): View more from Georgia

well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.

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(847): View more from Illinois

My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser

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(519): View more from Ontario

We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on

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(612): View more from Minnesota

These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.

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(239): View more from Florida

No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him

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(770): View more from Georgia

Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.

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(847): View more from Illinois

How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?

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