i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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