I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
