Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
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After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
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Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
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