12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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