I smell stomach acid.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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my sisters under your porch take her home
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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