There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
