Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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