3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
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I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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