I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize