Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
